The scale

25 Apr

So, I think this is going to be sort of a rant of a post, and will have nothing to do with food. Just letting you know!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I own a scale.

For much of my life, I have obsessively weighed myself.

For the past few months, I have hardly stepped on the scale.

Today…I got on the scale.

For some reason, mid-morning, I decided I needed to weigh myself. Not thinking much of it, I did. I stepped onto the scale and hesitantly stood staring at the digital display.

Down 5 pounds. What? Huh? How’d that happen?

So, of course. I rejoiced and decided that I am totally awesome. Somehow, I was instantly more worthwhile than before that number appeared on my bathroom scale.

And, that folks, brings me to the point of this blog entry. Why in the heck does the number on the scale have such a mental and emotional hold on me? I am a logical, sane, holistically-minded person who is controlled by numbers on a scale. Nothing else can so predictably and instantly change my perception of myself. If I get on and see a number higher than what I “expect”, well then, the day is ruined. All of the sudden I feel “fat” and bloated and can’t find a thing to wear. As if my body somehow morphed into some hideous form during my 10 seconds on the scale. And, if, like today, I get on the scale and see a number lower than I expect, all of the sudden I freakin’ rock. And, I look awesome. And, I should totally find a reason to wear that short little summer dress that hasn’t found it’s way out of my closet yet.

It’s just dumb! So, today, I vow to recognize this craziness and make a change. I vow to not allow myself to be ruled by a number on a bathroom scale. I vow to gauge my value and “appeal” by my health and wellness. If my legs carried me through a run, my arms furiously scrubbed floors all morning, and my core got me through the toughest yoga class known to man, then I am AWESOME, regardless of any dang number on a scale. I vow to allow myself to love and accept my body without looking for validation on a scale. I vow to love myself  by choosing true health over a number deemed acceptable by society. I vow to fill my body up with whole foods, fresh air, positive thoughts, and exercise.

There you have it friends, my vow to BREAK FREE of the scale and love myself, my body, for REAL and RIGHT reasons. This won’t be the easiest thing to retrain my mind, and it will surely be an emotional process; I mean, somewhere along the way, these thoughts and reactions settled deep into my mind and my soul, and I doubt they’re giving up without a fight. But, I’m excited to come out on the other side of the battle with the scale.

To those of you who don’t have a scale ghost in your closet, you’re probably convinced that I am legit insane. But, I have a feeling I’m not alone, and that somebody who reads this totally gets what I’m saying.

Thanks for hanging out on my blog today. Peace, friends! 🙂

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